Sock Shock
Since today showed the tiniest hint of spring, some friends and I decided to ring in our lunch breaks on the deck of a popular tex mex eatery in Nashville.
In the midst of gabbing and soaking up the sunshine, a guy friend of mine casually mentioned that he needed to start going to the tanning bed to get a “base tan” before summer officially starts.
I almost choked on my queso-covered chip.
Firstly, because this carefree guy is the last person on earth I’d imagine gracing the threshold of a tanning salon. Secondly, because…I don’t know…he has a penis?
Because I’m naturally curious and don’t often think before I speak, I blurted out, “When you go, do you cover up your junk?” (Eloquence personified.)
He informed me that after one bad burning experience, he now uses a SOCK.
I know I’m being sexist to think it’s strange/creepy for men to lay in tanning beds, but the mental image of a man lying bathed in blue light, wearing tiny baby goggles, rocking a 1990s Red Hot Chili Peppers cock sock makes me giggly…and a little ill.
Unavoidably from now on, whenever I see overly tan guys at the gym, I'll be suspicious as to exactly WHERE their socks have been...
In the midst of gabbing and soaking up the sunshine, a guy friend of mine casually mentioned that he needed to start going to the tanning bed to get a “base tan” before summer officially starts.
I almost choked on my queso-covered chip.
Firstly, because this carefree guy is the last person on earth I’d imagine gracing the threshold of a tanning salon. Secondly, because…I don’t know…he has a penis?
Because I’m naturally curious and don’t often think before I speak, I blurted out, “When you go, do you cover up your junk?” (Eloquence personified.)
He informed me that after one bad burning experience, he now uses a SOCK.
I know I’m being sexist to think it’s strange/creepy for men to lay in tanning beds, but the mental image of a man lying bathed in blue light, wearing tiny baby goggles, rocking a 1990s Red Hot Chili Peppers cock sock makes me giggly…and a little ill.
Unavoidably from now on, whenever I see overly tan guys at the gym, I'll be suspicious as to exactly WHERE their socks have been...
posted by Rachel at 11:18 PM
4 Comments:
there are worse things men do with their socks... especially teenagers.
The initial tanning session each year requires that certain parts be covered. A sock... no. I'll use the provided towel. However, if you're not gonna be an idiot and be in there for 20 minutes, there's no need for that type of protection.
So.. am I hearing you'd rather see milky, pale complexions on the men around you? I'll opt for a little color any day.
Milky pale, no.
"I look like I just spent two months in Cabo and it's only January", definitely no.
Male tanning has a VERY fine line...
ewwwwwwww.
now THAT is a nasty thought.
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