Parental Supervision Required
There's great benefit in having a nursing student for a roommate. Namely, she gives great advice on how to shorten a cold or can stitch up a gash from a veggie chopping accident while I'm passed out from the sight of my own blood.
But the best part of ALL is the fact that she works in a health clinic and has fantastic stories about the redneck patients she sees.
Most of the time, the stories are funny. Like the one about the large woman who wore jeans with two perfect-circle holes in the butt and had a boy in tow named DeWeese (bahaha). Or the one about the man who had to come in because he'd stuck one too many household objects up his poop hole.
But last night, she told me a story that's almost too horrifying to believe. I know this is going to make me sound 75, but what the hell is wrong with kids these days?!
Yesterday my roommate had to perform a pelvic exam on a 12-year-old girl because she'd been caught having both regular and anal sex in the bathroom at school.
(Yes, you read that right. When my roommate told me, I dropped my toothbrush and almost passed out and chipped my teeth on the sink.)
I know this is too much information, but when I was twelve, it was a BIG deal when the sluttiest girl in 7th grade went to second base...and that's just a little fondling.
Apparently, this sexually active preteen was both angry and scared to death of the exam. Um, hello? A little Q-tip swab is nothing in comparison to a penis in your butt. Ugh! It makes me want to shake her. In my opinion, a 12-year-old isn't mature enough to be dropped off at the mall, let alone having sex. What is she possibly thinking? And does this mean that MY kids will be having sex when they're five?
But here's the kicker. After my roommate gave her the whole spiel about abstinence, safe sex and birth control, the girl asked if birth control tablets come in CHEWABLES.
I may not be an expert, but I know that if you have a hard time swallowing a birth control pill (or want it in a fruity flavor), chances are you shouldn't be having sex. Period. End of discussion.
Now go to your room.
But the best part of ALL is the fact that she works in a health clinic and has fantastic stories about the redneck patients she sees.
Most of the time, the stories are funny. Like the one about the large woman who wore jeans with two perfect-circle holes in the butt and had a boy in tow named DeWeese (bahaha). Or the one about the man who had to come in because he'd stuck one too many household objects up his poop hole.
But last night, she told me a story that's almost too horrifying to believe. I know this is going to make me sound 75, but what the hell is wrong with kids these days?!
Yesterday my roommate had to perform a pelvic exam on a 12-year-old girl because she'd been caught having both regular and anal sex in the bathroom at school.
(Yes, you read that right. When my roommate told me, I dropped my toothbrush and almost passed out and chipped my teeth on the sink.)
I know this is too much information, but when I was twelve, it was a BIG deal when the sluttiest girl in 7th grade went to second base...and that's just a little fondling.
Apparently, this sexually active preteen was both angry and scared to death of the exam. Um, hello? A little Q-tip swab is nothing in comparison to a penis in your butt. Ugh! It makes me want to shake her. In my opinion, a 12-year-old isn't mature enough to be dropped off at the mall, let alone having sex. What is she possibly thinking? And does this mean that MY kids will be having sex when they're five?
But here's the kicker. After my roommate gave her the whole spiel about abstinence, safe sex and birth control, the girl asked if birth control tablets come in CHEWABLES.
I may not be an expert, but I know that if you have a hard time swallowing a birth control pill (or want it in a fruity flavor), chances are you shouldn't be having sex. Period. End of discussion.
Now go to your room.
posted by Rachel at 6:26 PM
4 Comments:
Well perhaps she saw the commercials for the new "Chewable Birth Control" Femcon Fe. You can't really fault her for asking... at least she is attempting to be responsible. As responsible as anal sex in a public bathroom can be anyway.
Good Lord! What the hell is wrong with people??
I'm dying to know who caught the girl doing the butt love in the bathroom. Jesus, it's a horrifying image. Yuck yuck.
A positive note--- birth control does come in a chewable format now... but I doubt that any self respecting gyno would give it out.
We watch Oprah, we know how skanky these youngin's are. Just think about rush practice at the house...we know.
Maybe there is hope however. At least if she is scared of the exam, there is a good chance she might remember the horrors of the super Q-tip... and let her grow up.
PS.... didn't you hate the slutty seventh grader? God, she was a slut! heheheh.
Holy Cow. I too realise I sound like my mother when I say "young people today". When I was 12 I hadn't even snogged a bloke, let alone seen a willy.
Insane. And as Catherinette says, it's a horifying image.
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