Sad. Sad. Sad.

For the first time in my life, I've discovered the true definition of "pathetic". And it wasn't pretty.

Saturday night, some friends and I hit the town for dinner, drinks and (hopefully) dancing. While having a drink at the bar as we awaited a table, the gentleman sitting next to me struck up a conversation. He was eating something spicy and jokingly dared me to try a bite. He promised that if I could stomach it, he'd buy our group's next round of drinks. Being a complete sucker for a dare, I took him up on it.

As the aforepromised drinks were distributed, his buddy, who looked like he walked straight out of a Scorsese film, joined us. They were drunk, but seemingly innocent...so we chose to humor them. (Read: Bad. Idea.)

While talking, we discovered that they both graduated from UT in 1993 and were business partners, but the mobster look-a-like wouldn't go into details. As we excused ourselves to our table, they begged us to meet them at The Boundry with promises of an unlimited bar tab and limo ride if we showed up. We gave a vague answer about being lucky and felt confident we'd seen the last of them...

...until they showed up at our table an hour later. (Apparently they "couldn't forget us".) Mr. Mob immediately informed my (brunette) friends that blondes were hotter and announced that he had "first dibs" to the entire bar. Which made me absolutely indignant...and must be why he chose that precise moment to take out a money clip and flip through a wad of $100 bills. After forcing down the bile in my throat, I icily informed him that he did everything BUT impress me.

Instead of having the desired effect, Mr. Mob told me he "liked 'em fiery" and proceeded to latch himself to me like a stripper to P. Diddy. He even suggested we fly to Vegas and get married so he could "give me the world". I decided to call his bluff, so I told him to go ahead and buy me a ticket. In two seconds, he'd pulled out his American Airlines card and dialed the number...and then bought two tickets (for one lonely plane ride).

He ordered a round of drinks to celebrate our "impending nuptials" and after making a snide comment to our waitress, pulled out pictures of his CHILDREN and started passing them around the table. If his arrogant behavior had pissed me off before, the thought of him being a little boy's daddy while acting like a sleazeball with young women in bars made me see RED.

I'd had enough...so I politely asked our waitress to close us all out. When she came back with the check, I peeled three bills from his money clip and told her to keep the change. My friends and I then gathered our belongings and made for the door. Amid the creepos' protests.

I honestly hope Mr. Mob showed up at the airport and waited on me. He deserved to stand there and look outwardly what he is on the inside--utterly pathetic.

I also pray that no young women fall for his flashy, arrogant ways in the future. But sadly, when Benjamins are involved, some bitches will always come running...and deserve exactly what they get when they arrive.