MyStalkers
**WARNING: Bitch Factor is HIGH**
Several months ago, I swore up and down that I'd never participate in the madness that is Myspace. But it inevitably sucked me in with it's sweet promise of office-boredom relief, so I signed up, jazzed up my profile and commenced looking up middle school crushes.
While I've reconnected with countless of old friends and flames, I've managed to stick to a strict "friend request" policy. If I've never seen your face in person, I won't accept your request. Period. No matter how hot you are or how many shirtless pictures you have displayed. Nothing personal.
The logic here is simple, folks. If we've never had any interaction, we can't be considered "friends". Even internet ones.
It never ceases to amaze me how people can have 796 Myspace friends. Really? Because gosh, you must be super popular and maybe we SHOULD be friends so that a little of your coolness might rub off on me. Or...I could just laugh and click the "deny" button.
And don't even get me started on the horrible (and somewhat hysterical) messages that flood my inbox. Sometimes I feel like my profile has a huge banner on it that reads: If you're a semi-illiterate, 30-something reeking of desperation, you NEED to message this girl!!
Here are clips from some of my favorites:
Wow your gorgous... VERY nice.. So, do you like a tall man in uniform? ;o)
(Do you have testicles? Then why are you using smiley face with noses?)
You are just too cute. 5'2 huh? I would have to be careful to not step on you if we ever met. :) Tell me about yourself...
(There we go with the smiley faces again...why don't YOU tell ME how many times a day you get rejected for being completely lame?)
Lovin what i saw and read. Sound like we might have some things in common. Would like to get to know more if u r interested.
(Common, huh? Considering you probably couldn't form a complete sentence to save your life...I really don't think so.)
So...to all of you MyStalkers out there who might be reading this...don't even try it. I won't be your friend and I won't respond to your messages.
P.S. The word "hot" is only spelled with one "t". (Or did they not cover that in your GED practice course?)
Several months ago, I swore up and down that I'd never participate in the madness that is Myspace. But it inevitably sucked me in with it's sweet promise of office-boredom relief, so I signed up, jazzed up my profile and commenced looking up middle school crushes.
While I've reconnected with countless of old friends and flames, I've managed to stick to a strict "friend request" policy. If I've never seen your face in person, I won't accept your request. Period. No matter how hot you are or how many shirtless pictures you have displayed. Nothing personal.
The logic here is simple, folks. If we've never had any interaction, we can't be considered "friends". Even internet ones.
It never ceases to amaze me how people can have 796 Myspace friends. Really? Because gosh, you must be super popular and maybe we SHOULD be friends so that a little of your coolness might rub off on me. Or...I could just laugh and click the "deny" button.
And don't even get me started on the horrible (and somewhat hysterical) messages that flood my inbox. Sometimes I feel like my profile has a huge banner on it that reads: If you're a semi-illiterate, 30-something reeking of desperation, you NEED to message this girl!!
Here are clips from some of my favorites:
Wow your gorgous... VERY nice.. So, do you like a tall man in uniform? ;o)
(Do you have testicles? Then why are you using smiley face with noses?)
You are just too cute. 5'2 huh? I would have to be careful to not step on you if we ever met. :) Tell me about yourself...
(There we go with the smiley faces again...why don't YOU tell ME how many times a day you get rejected for being completely lame?)
Lovin what i saw and read. Sound like we might have some things in common. Would like to get to know more if u r interested.
(Common, huh? Considering you probably couldn't form a complete sentence to save your life...I really don't think so.)
So...to all of you MyStalkers out there who might be reading this...don't even try it. I won't be your friend and I won't respond to your messages.
P.S. The word "hot" is only spelled with one "t". (Or did they not cover that in your GED practice course?)
posted by Rachel at 1:29 PM
5 Comments:
Oh man! U posted my 2 hott comment. ;)
I am soooo embarassed!!!!
Yeah,sexy,I totally know what you mean.The babes are constantly crawling all over me 6'3",350lb,57yr old,married [so don't call, my wife might answer] hunk o'burning love.Sounds like you might need a real man to take the chill off,so call me if you wanna take a ride on a riverboat,baby!!!
mine says that "i'm a youth minister" & "in a relationship" so i wonder why i get all the webcam and proposition myspace emails too.. hmm, maybe they know something about my cohorts that i don't know.
&:~)
(yes, my lame smiley face guy, curly hair and broken nose)
I get so many ridiculous messages through MySpace it isn't even funny. What's especially annoying is when I bother responding because the person in question has some legitimate reason for contacting me (like we're from the same hometown or whatever) even though the tone of the message may still be flirty, and I try, gently but firmly, to close off the exchange -- but it never works. Bah! I'm rambling. But yeah, MySpace stalkers are annoying.
For some reason I have avoided the MySpace stalkers. I think it has to do with the fact that my main photo is a long-distance shot of me climbing a coconut tree. I'm not suggesting that you climb a coconut tree and have a friend snap a photo...but you can avoid the leering weirdos if you don't put your best glamour shot on the front page.
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