Monday, February 06, 2006

Please Take Me Back Home...to Mississippi

Ugh. Back to work. Which is especially hard after a weekend of pretending I'm still a college student in Oxford. God, I miss that little town. And everyone who's still there.

It's amazing how much Oxford changes in so little time. I haven't even been out of school for a year and new things have gone up like crazy. (The Library's new sports bar is really nice and Oby's is fantastic.) But sadly, old things have also come down. (I honestly teared up seeing the empty lot the Tiki once sat on.) I guess that's life...out with the old and in with the new.

But the one thing Oxford will never be without is drunk hookers. I think they're bred there. I had a good laugh at the sheer number of (probably freshman) girls prancing around the square in tank tops. And it was 34 degrees Saturday night. I don't care how cute you think you look...put a damn jacket on while you're walking to the bar.

The best moment was my run-in with one of the drunk hookers. We were both closing our tabs at Parrish's and she was playing with her pink Razor phone. Being that I'd never seen a pink one (minus Paris Hilton's in US Weekly), I glanced over at it. And she had the gall to say to her friend, "This stupid bitch is looking at me funny."

I stood there shocked for a moment, then turned to her and managed to utter between clenched teeth, "It's only because I think your phone's cute, hooker."

Boy, did she get embarrassed. She apologized umpteen times, told me that she was just plain rude (to which I replied, "Damn right you are"). And then offered to let me play with said pink phone (to which I declined). So if someone's being rude, the worst thing you can do is pay them a compliment. Because they'll inevitably look like a jackass.

Despite the hookers, I hate that I only had two days there. I could have stayed for another week. But I want to do it again. And I want everybody to plan to come the same time (a little reunion if you will.) Maybe for a football game in the fall? If we start planning early, it just might happen. Because I miss all of your beautiful faces...and judging by the (no) quality of girls there now...Oxford misses them as well.

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