Hell in a Handbasket
It's 4:04. The clock is mocking me. Never before in my life have I so wanted to be done with work and be in my bed. I'm stopped up, my throat is sore and I feel a little nauseous. But no, I have an entire hour to sit miserably at my desk and dream about my sweatpant-clad self watching Oprah. I'm being punished...and with good reason.
Let me explain. Every Tuesday night I attend a Bible study. My aunt convinced me to go with her once, and I really liked it. And let's be honest, it's hard for a 20-something to make it to church bright and early every Sunday morning, so this has been a great way to fill the spiritual void. But last night, I had a conflict--I was asked to go to a business dinner after work. It was a great chance to make some contacts...not to mention have a free meal at a fancy Italian restaurant downtown. I decided that if I hurried, I could fit both activities in. It was a great idea--in theory.
The dinner was great. Our food was wonderful. Our waiter kept us in stitches. The man who was paying for it kept our wine glasses constantly filled. And then he ordered a round of "after-dinner coffees" which consisted of about 5% coffee and 95% Irish Whiskey. Needless to say, my Bible study attendance ambitions started waivering. But once outside the restaurant, I decided to just suck it up and go (even if I was already 10 minutes late). So I hauled ass and made polite apologies for my lateness.
It was all going very well until my notes started swimming on the page and I couldn't help my giggling. Yes, ladies and gentlemen...I was DRUNK at Bible study. How horrible can you get? I definitely didn't get drunk intentionally, but I was drunk all the same. Once I realized that the "after-dinner coffee" had done me in, the paranoia started. I tried my best to act sober--which I'm sure made everything worse.
Hence my massive cold/hangover today. It's my punishment. Because Jesus may have turned some water into wine...he just knew better than to do it before Bible study.
Let me explain. Every Tuesday night I attend a Bible study. My aunt convinced me to go with her once, and I really liked it. And let's be honest, it's hard for a 20-something to make it to church bright and early every Sunday morning, so this has been a great way to fill the spiritual void. But last night, I had a conflict--I was asked to go to a business dinner after work. It was a great chance to make some contacts...not to mention have a free meal at a fancy Italian restaurant downtown. I decided that if I hurried, I could fit both activities in. It was a great idea--in theory.
The dinner was great. Our food was wonderful. Our waiter kept us in stitches. The man who was paying for it kept our wine glasses constantly filled. And then he ordered a round of "after-dinner coffees" which consisted of about 5% coffee and 95% Irish Whiskey. Needless to say, my Bible study attendance ambitions started waivering. But once outside the restaurant, I decided to just suck it up and go (even if I was already 10 minutes late). So I hauled ass and made polite apologies for my lateness.
It was all going very well until my notes started swimming on the page and I couldn't help my giggling. Yes, ladies and gentlemen...I was DRUNK at Bible study. How horrible can you get? I definitely didn't get drunk intentionally, but I was drunk all the same. Once I realized that the "after-dinner coffee" had done me in, the paranoia started. I tried my best to act sober--which I'm sure made everything worse.
Hence my massive cold/hangover today. It's my punishment. Because Jesus may have turned some water into wine...he just knew better than to do it before Bible study.
posted by Rachel at 4:23 PM
2 Comments:
You look pretty hot in that picture.
It's good to be me . . .
LOL...now that's one I haven't heard before. Maybe I should try that the next time I have to attend boring Sunday school at my mom's church.
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