Thursday, December 08, 2005

Blow for Blow (oh, the irony)...

The other day I watched a hilarious/disturbing documentary about real life hookers in NYC. They gave them clip-on microphones and followed them around on their "shifts". Fortunately (or unfortunately, however you want to look at it) you couldn't see what was going on inside the cars...but you could HEAR it. *shudder* And it was graphic. Then the ladies (using the term loosely) took their "lunch break" around 2 a.m. at a local diner and swapped stories about all the sick stuff they'd encountered recently. Like the man who pays $10 for each safety pin inserted into his testicles. Yes, you read that right.

I sat there half of the time with my mouth open while giggling through the other half. Because "hooker speak" is really a phenomenon in itself. They'd start telling stories and completely lose me with the sheer amount of slang/racial terms/cuss words. I think each 5 minute story averaged about 3 coherent sentences total. But not only did they suffer from poor grammar, these women were flat fug-ly. Most had guts and missing teeth. But business was still booming. Which speaks volumes about the male gender...

The most shocking part of all--the prices. Now, I've never been with a hooker, nor do I plan to, but I've always assumed that it's pricey. I figured that for these girls to be doing what they do, they'd have to be making a lot. But NO. The standard was "20 a blow, 30 a lay". Which I don't understand because (chaste-in-comparison) lap dances at strip clubs cost more than that. I just feel like these women need to set their sights a little higher. Maybe become an escort or something. Because $30 bucks just ain't worth it, darlin'. That can barely pay the rent, let alone your cocaine habit.

But the most priceless quote came from Crystal, the middle-aged mother of two: "Some of my girlfriends are just as much of a ho as I am...I'm just smart enough to get paid for it." Now there's an entrepreneurial spirit if I've ever seen one...

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