Thursday, March 30, 2006

I Miss Ole Miss

I went to the Nashville area Ole Miss luncheon series today. Mainly for the free food and because Jim is in town. It was at the Nashville City Club which is an exclusive penthouse restaurant downtown that doesn't post their membership price anywhere (being a nosy biatch, I looked). You have to call to receive that information. Which must mean you could buy several Tibetan villages with the joining fee alone.

Because obviously an Ole Miss crowd would accept no less.

We had a fantastic meal and I sat next to a charming older couple who told me about their trip to Italy. Then Chancellor Khayat got up and talked about what Ole Miss' plans are for the future and showed a slide show of campus buildings that have been renovated. Which I clearly remember being that I was there less than a year ago.

And the whole dang thing made me a little teary. And quite nostalgic. It just made me think of what I'd be doing if I was still in college. Probably walking around campus enjoying the spring weather, or sitting in the Grove with a blanket and a book, or possibly ambling around the square with no particular destination. I miss it so much. I wish I'd appreciated college life while I was living it. Because it's scary to think that you can NEVER truly go back to that.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006


Jim's in town for the next three days (yay!) which could very possibly lead to trouble. Our set routine for his visits seems to involve copious amounts of drinking. To which I say, bring it on.

Speaking of which, I recently took an "alcohol screening" test online which told me that 95% of females drink LESS than I drink. At which point I laughed. Because yes, I do drink. And sometimes I party pretty hard and end up with stolen cowbells in the morning. But I party no harder than your average 20-something does. Especially because a good percentage of the time I'd readily pick staying in with good friends and a glass of wine over getting hammered in a bar.

I'm convinced that the whole thing is a scare tactic by religious evangelical zealots trying to reinstate prohibition laws.

Here's the link. See what you think about your so-called "score".

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Facebook on Crack

Hello. My name is Rachel and I am addicted Myspace. It hasn't gotten to the critical stage yet, but it's well on it's way.

Let me preface this by saying that I was extremely hesitant about Myspace before joining the thing. I always viewed it as a ghetto Facebook with seizure-inducing backgrounds. But Jenn twisted my arm to the point that I bit the bullet and signed up. It took me awhile to figure it all out...but I've been hooked ever since. As creepy as it sounds, I LOVE that you don't have to be friends with someone to look at their profile.

I laugh so hard reading the bad grammatical errors and the "about me's" typed in straight-out ebonics. But most of all...I crack up at all the whorey pictures people actually post of themselves.This being the perfect example:

I mean, REALLY. What was this woman thinking? Is she SO desperate that she's enticing guys to talk to her with THIS? Facebook would never allow you to post something like this. Or maybe the people on Facebook are just smart enough to actually abstain from semi-pornographic postings. All I know is that I'd never post this picture of myself (especially if I had that ass) in two million years. Because it's both nasty and frightening.

I also hope that no one I know would post this kind of picture of themselves. If I had to guess, I'd say the thought has never crossed any of my friends' minds...

But then again, I haven't checked Carrie Ward's profile in awhile..

Monday, March 20, 2006

Spring has UNsprung

I freaking love St. Patrick's Day. Because, if we're honest with ourselves, no one truly cares about the Irish heritage aspect of it. It's really just a great excuse to wear green and drink an insane amount of emerald-colored beverages.

Jennie and I threw a party at our house on Friday to celebrate this special "holiday". We provided the four most important festive devices: 1) insanely strong green Jello shots, 2) insanely strong green hunch punch, 3) green food coloring and 4) an Irish Jig mix CD created by yours truly.

We had around 20 people total and it got pretty rowdy. Especially when Dave found our New Year's stolen cowbell...and attempted to keep up the accompaniment to Irish Jig music. Luckily, our crazy ass neighbor heard every bit of it. Because the next day, he asked us (in an overly condescending voice) if we had fun with all of our "buddies". (He's really just jealous because he doesn't have any of his own...)

I just love having house parties. You can hang out with all the people you like, drink as much as you want and not have to worry about driving home. And people can just crash there so you don't worry about them driving home. AND you can play heated Trivial Pursuit till 3:00 in the morning and laugh your ass off when people can barely read the question cards.

Saturday night was the law school formal and it was a blast. It was held in a restored warehouse downtown and they had the best DJ ever. Any man who can smoothly transition between Britney Spears and Stevie Wonder is a man near and dear to my heart.

Okay, I'd write more...but my boss didn't come to work today so frankly, I'd rather close up shop. I'm going home to slather on self tanner and curse this wretchedly cold, rainy so-called "first day of spring".

Gah, Mother Nature is such a bitch.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006


Why is that people in the service industry seem to be getting increasingly rude? It never ceases to amaze me, based on their actions, how many still have jobs.

The other day, I was using the (amazing) self-checkout at Kroger when my machine froze on me. I took the last item out of my bag, mashed random buttons on the screen and even smacked the no avail. Frustrated, I went up to the "checkout station manager" to ask her to reset it. Which would have been the easiest request in the world had she not been having a heated discussion on her cell phone.

I stood there for about 30 seconds and she never acknowledged me, so I spoke up. Before I could get through "Excuse me, I have a little problem," she rolled her eyes, stuck her index finger in my face and kept talking. I was irate. So I kept right on explaining my machine problem. She finally figured I wasn't going to just go away, got off the phone and actually helped me. All the while acting like I was holding a gun to her head.

I just wasn't going to accept being treated like that, so I asked for her name and the name of her manager. She looked quite panicked, but I really didn't care. She should have thought of the consequences of her actions before she stuck her finger in my face.

The Kroger girl was MILD compared to a certain Oxford Walgreens employee who actually yelled at Moni and me for taking too long on the digital picture printing machine. To the point that her boss forced her to take a break and then gave us everything for free.

I completely understand that working in customer service SUCKS. I try to be sympathetic for those who are frazzled or just plain having a bad day. I know because I did my time in a drive-thru window (with a 250 pound woman who entertained herself by popping her glass eye in and out). I know ALL about how much it sucks.
Despite how much I wanted to scream and pitch fits on the floor (had it not been foul) during 10 hour shifts, I was never rude to the customers themselves. It wasn't their fault that I had a shitty teenage job. So I gritted my teeth and put a smile on my face.

As a result, I'm completely intolerant of rude employees. It's unacceptable and I'm determined to change it--person by person.

The next time you're forced to deal with a bitchy/"don't-have-time-for-you"/condescending employee...turn their ass in. Call their manager, write an email, fill out a comment card, WHATEVER. It's truly in that company's best interest that you do so.

Because of that one she-devil, I never returned to the Oxford Walgreens ever again. I switched my prescription to Walmart and started taking my pictures to Kroger.

She's just lucky I never saw her out and about town. I might have been forced to pull out her weave, snap off her 4-inch fake fingernails and shove them up her nose. :)

Friday, March 10, 2006

Spring Has Sprung

Oh. My. Goodness. is it ever gorgeous outside. And I'm pretty sure that the nice weather is here to stay. For the next 7 days, the Nashville forecast reads in the 60s and 70s and I'm thrilled. I can finally stop hybernating and enjoy being outside.

I think the good weather is having a positive effect on everyone. Because today, we received the following email from our boss:

Subject: Summit Meeting

Do you think if we had our TVC meeting over lunch and several buckets of beers at SATCO, we could get anything done?

Several of us replied with various forms of "hell yes" and we all hit the road. Sitting outside on the deck, eating tex mex and swilling Coronas while "working" was fan-tas-tic. Definitely something I could get used to on a regular basis. Even the bird that shat on me couldn't dampen my blissful mood.

Because there is nothing that can compare to returning to work mid-day with a big, fresh "legal" stamp on your hand.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

No Sol Para Mi

Damn corporate America for not observing Spring Break. I'd like nothing better on this rainy afternoon to be somewhere tropical with a strong drink in hand. And maybe a steel drummer serenading me (can a drum actually "serenade"?).

I'm going out to dinner with some friends tonight and am definitely going to request a tiny paper umbrella in my drink. Because sadly, that's about as close to "beachy" as I'm going to get.

So, I realized that in all of my busyness this past week, I forgot to post my exciting news...

I touched Travis Stork.
You can start breathing again whenever you recover from your fit of jealousy. (Or your fit of rage in Bean's case.)
Wha' ha' happened was...last Saturday, I really just wanted to wallow around on the couch in my semi-hungover state, but decided I'd feel better if I got moving. So Jennie and I headed to the gym. And lo and behold, Travis was one of the first people we saw when we walked in. He was standing by the towels and I conveniently had to place my hand on his back to get by him. *sigh*
I happily hopped on the Arc Trainer (with an extra bounce in my step) and before I knew it, he was getting on the bike directly facing me. So for a good 15 minutes, I couldn't figure out where to look. Normally, I just look straight ahead and zone out with my iPod. But since he's semi-famous and all, that might have seemed creepy. So I tried to look interested in everything else but him. (Way smooth, I know.) But we did occasionally lock eyes whenever I couldn't help but glance his way. *sigh again*
Finally, I thought I'd post something random simply because it makes me laugh out loud:
I only hope that someday my daughter will be so talented.

Friday, March 03, 2006


Ugh...lunch at RuSan's sushi buffet is not recommended for a productive afternoon at work. I think they soaked that raw fish in Ambien before wrapping it in rice. I'm seriously thinking about locking myself in the storeroom and falling asleep.

I need to rest up if I'm going to make it through tonight's festivities. I don't know if anyone's seen it, but there's a petition circulating the internet and Bean and his friends have jumped on it. Because Valentine's Day is a holiday purely devoted to females, two guys in Boston have decided to create the male version in March. So tonight, admist a little eye rolling on my part, we're going out with four other couples to celebrate "Steak & a Blowjob Day." That's right. That's really what it's called. I'm hoping this "holiday" will fade into oblivion by the year 2007. Or it at least gets a more creative name.

And, in breaking news: The Tennessean reported yesterday that Sarah and Travis are no longer together. She apparently got back to Nashville and broke it off with him. Shiesty bitch. This means he's on the prowl again...and I can't say I'm too broken up about it. Because now that it's (hallelujah) getting warmer, I might start running by his house. At night. When I can see into his windows. With my camera.

How scary did that sound? Like something out of a teen horror flick. God, I need to go to sleep.

Thursday, March 02, 2006

I ♥ Business Trips

Too much has been going on at work. Which is a big improvement from drooling at my desk, but my blog has suffered as a result. I just realized that I haven't posted anything in over a I'm trying to amend that sad fact.

Monday, Jenn and I drove to Huntsville with some coworkers to set up a client's Board dinner and reception. Of which we partook greatly. We had an amazing dinner and an open bar (because let's face it, you can't entertain executives without a plethora of liquor). After the dinner, a waitress informed us that we still had numerous bottles of wine left over and didn't know what to do with them. We told her to bring them on up--opened--to room 431.

That's when the real party started.

Five of us (including my main boss) drunkenly watched the Bachelor in our pajamas in my room. And drank several bottles of wine in the process. It was amazing. Especially since good triumphed over evil and Sarah walked away with the ring (appropriately placed around her neck).

After everyone else left for their rooms and a good night's sleep, Jenn and I ended up in the hotel bar in our pajamas and bare feet to take shots in honor of Sarah's victory (and because we could expense them). Despite the fact we had to get up at 6:00 and sit through an afternoon's worth of Board meetings.

The best part of the trip? When a random man in a flight suit came up to us in the hotel lobby the next morning and said, "Wow...I barely recognized you with actual clothes on!" in front of our boss. Who just shook his head and smiled...cause he knows how we roll. And loves us for it.